18. Jabbar's birthday

Another month has passed, and Daniel M. was still seating in his rocking chair, a pipe in his mouth and Jabbar the iguana on his lap. The rain didn't stop from pouring and in this late hour at night it was the only sound to be heard (Daniel M. was living in a city that while being among the biggest in the world, it was strictly forbidden to show any signs of life after a certain hour, say, 7pm).
Both Daniel M. and Jabbar closed their eyes, completely submitting themselves to this ancient meditative noise, becoming calmer as the minutes passed by.
Suddenly an alarm sounded and flashing red lights filled the otherwise dark room.
The main door was opened, and Alfred, the obedient butler, came in, holding 3 colored balloons and wearing a clownish birthday hat, making him look very ridiculous for any taste.
"Happy birthday, Jabbar!", he said in a serious voice, trying his best to sound as if he really meant it.
"Master, I prepared for you a fillet minion, medium-well, as you like it, and Teresa baked your favorite chocolate cake for this happy occasion."
"Please send her my love, and thank you very much, but it is completely unnecessary, since Jabber is vegetarian and also doesn't eat chocolate and I don't want to be rude and eat the cake all by myself".
"But, master, these are for you", tried the butler to speak to the sane part that wasn't completely destroyed in Daniel M's mind, but with no audible success.
"Many thanks, but I think I will pass. You are dismissed now. Please let me know if there is any...", Daniel M. didn't even finish the sentence as the parrot in the next living room was screaming: "You've got mail! You've got mail!", and later: "Chelsea got beaten by Liverpool 1-0". "I will be right back, sir", said Alfred, hissing to himself: "freak". In no time the butler has returned with a pile of letters and one small package. "Let me know if you need anything else- I will leave you alone now". "Excellent idea", replied the indifferent Daniel M.
He piled the letters on the Art Deco table and started to read them.
First, he saw the commercial stuff. "Sell your mother to receive $10 discount in Tower Records", "Open a checking account for your dog", "Buy four brides from Ukraine and receive one free", and other disgusting stuff.
Later, he was ready to answer the various fan mail he has received.

Peter, from Portland, Oregon (real name), was asking:
"I would be happy to see some drawing along those (great/superb/amazing) posts. Do you think it is possible?"
-My dear Peter, due to a very prosperous month for the blog (two pounds were found on the street), I am proud to tell you that the blog, starting next week, will employ the unknown genius Belgian artist, Jean Philippe leCoq, who will provide each post with his personal view on the subject.
From the press: "Mr. leCoq... is... like Picasso" (Le Monde- edited article), "Jean Philippe leCoq has done it again... almost as... last time..." (New York Times- edited article).
Also visit www.jeanphilipplecoq.be for more information (might not work due to an overwhelming demand).

Jenna, from Sweden (fake name, among other things), was asking:
"I liked especially your post about the old ladies in London. Will there be more posts about old women in the future?"
- Absolutely.

Asaf from Israel writes: "for your next Tea with the Dead section, you might bring Albert Einstein".
- We have already spoken with Mr. Einstein's agent, but currently he is available only in other galaxies. We will, however, bring someone else of this caliber and promise you would not be disappointed.

Anonymous was writing again, criticizing the low cultural standards of the blog, reaching a new low, as he noted, this month.
"Well- maybe this list of 10 favorite movies will shut him up for another while", thought Daniel M., and gave the following:


1) Playtime- Jacques Tati

2) Blowup- Antonioni

3) Dr. Strangelove, Eyes wide Shut or any other film by Kubrick

4) Seven Samurais- Kurasawa

5) Taxi Driver- Scorsese

6) Vertigo- Hitchcock

7) La dolce Vita- Fellini

8) High Heels- Almodovar

9) The discreet charm of the bourgeoisie- Bunuel

10) Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou- Wes Anderson


Finally, there was a large purple package. "I wonder what's inside it", thought Daniel M.
When he opened the package he discovered four large tomatoes, two of them got squeezed and smashed (probably because of the mail), and a small note, each letter was cut from a different newspaper. "THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I THINK OF YOUR STUPID BLOG".
Daniel M. could not hold his smile. "Jabbar, finally something for you!", he gave the giant iguana the smashed tomatoes and the beast ate them with pleasure. "Happy birthday, boy, happy birthday".