5. 10 things you must not say to a performer before a concert

Well, technically, it is only you on stage- but you really don't want to hear those things a minute before you go on:

1) Do you really know everything by heart?

2) You have no idea who is sitting in the front row...

3) (to the audience): Next week will be someone really famous. Until then, enjoy tonight's show.

4) We have really old people in our audience. Last week two women died during the Beethoven Sonata.

5) This piece is my absolute favourite. I know every note, dynamic and tempo marking by heart. Good luck!

6) Do you know also to play the theme from "Titanic"?

7) Was the piano supposed to be tuned?

8) Your hair looks like s**t. But no time for that now! Have fun.

9) So, what do you think about the situation in the Middle East?

10) Well, it's not exactly sold out, to put it mildly... Only three people came. But it doesn't matter, does it?