11. Behind the scenes of Daniel M.'s blog

Due to some angry letters I have received during the last days, demanding why the blog is not published every day to their lazy enjoyment, I have decided to reveal the secrets behind the blog, and share with you the 10 painful steps each and every post has to pass before it is proven worthy of publication. If a post fails to pass one step, it is being destroyed immediately and the process starts from the very beginning.

Step 1: Daniel M. is thinking hard of a subject that could interest his 2.5 readers.

Step 2: The post is being dictated to a group of 13 drunk monkeys, who are then typing it on the new "Macbook Air" computers, specially bought for this purpose.

Step 3: The result doesn't make any sense, and Daniel M. has to rewrite everything by himself.

Step 4: Everyone is having cookies.

Step 5: The initial draft is sent by email to Michelle, an Australian babe and to Prof. Henry Schubb from Yale University, to make sure the post can be understood both by the stupidest and smartest person in the planet.

Step 5: If their approval was gained, the post is then transferred to Xu Yian, living in a loft in Paris, who is translating it to Chinese (Mandarin) and then back to English.

Step 6: More cookies, followed by some more cookies.

Step 7: If all is well, the post is then transferred to a reading proof group, consisting of 20 people, who are doing this degrading job as part of their prison service.

Step 8: Some typos and errors are being inserted to the post, in order to make some of the readers lose their already shuttered sanity.

Step 9: The post is then published online.

Step 10: The post is being rejected, obliging Daniel M. to remove the pornographic photos and video materials. The censored version is then what you see in front of your eyes.

Well, I hope you understand me better now. As you are reading these very words, I am getting an email from Xu Yian, saying he has finished translating "a true story about sex, lies and witchcraft, part II", which means it will be online very soon. Meanwhile the monkeys behind me are typing what looks like "the hitchhiker's guide to REAL New-York", but it's really hard to see from here. I would like to end this lousy post by a quotation of Helen Keller, said moments before her death, that can still be relevant to this day and age: