10. Valentine's day special

Another day has passed, and Daniel M. is sitting comfortably on the rocking chair in front of the fireplace, lighting up his old pipe, while petting Jabbar, his beloved Iguana. As he is enjoying the silence of another beautiful Saturday evening, the parrot screams from the other huge living-room: "Attention, attention- you've got mail!"
Daniel M. remains still and doesn't move a bit. Instead, he taps gently on the champagne glass, and an old man with a short mustache enters the room. This is Alfred, the obedient butler, who was serving the house for the past three decades. "Yes, master. What can I do for you?", he asks politely. "More champagne please- and bring me the mail, will you? I haven't had the chance to run all these seven floors downstairs today". Daniel M. continues to pet Jabber calmly, barely looking back at Alfred. "Right away, sir. Right away". Alfred disappears and is coming back in almost a second. "Here is your champagne with today's mail, sir, and also a small chocolate from Teresa. She asks to send you her love". "Good, good", dismisses him Daniel M. impolitely, "and now if you please, close the door after you leave- I would like to be alone".
Alfred obeys quietly, and Daniel M. remains by himself, sorting out the letters.

On the first pile he puts all the numerous fan mail he has received. He opens up only two of those. "Daniel M., you have saved my life. I was about to move to London, but thanks to your p...". Boring, he thinks to himself and opens the next: "Dear Daniel M., my name is Amanda, and I have a confession to make- since I am reading your blog I have lots of troubles with my boyfriend, and I think I am in love with you. What should I do?". Daniel M. is putting the letter in his waistcoat and is moving to the second pile, where he was putting all the personal mail he has received. He found out that Aunt Celia has died this week, and that he inherited more than 3 million dollars. As this is merely a pocket money for him, he throws the letter away.
On the last pile he puts all the commercial stuff, dealing with discounts and promotions for various uninteresting products, such as Shrimp flavored dog-food and Chinese rap songs for your baby. One advertisement is catching his eye- "Buy your wife a diamond ring for Valentine's day, and receive two free rings for your two next wives". This ad is reviving some sort of emotion on his otherwise very still face. Yes, Valentine's day is approaching, he thinks to himself, and I cannot escape it also this time.

Valentine's day is Daniel M.'s most hated day. For some reason, he is left alone every single year. If he has a girlfriend, she is in another country that day. If he doesn't, he is constantly reminded of that by all the kissing couples that are happily walking below his mansion.
Well, nothing to complain, he thinks. His recent choices were very poor indeed- in the past year he was falling only for girls who were either not interested in him in the first place or who already had a boyfriend, and his semi-obsessive nature didn't allow him to realize that or give up. "Well, we had at least some success this year, didn't we, Jabbar? And anyway, who needs women when I have you around?". To these words, the iguana went from his lap to lie near the fireplace, which made Daniel M. think once more. "Now, what should I offer my trustful readers for Valentine's day- should I write about women and their dangerous minds? No- too banal. What about suggestions for acrobatic sex positions or erotic oil massages? Nah- too basic. Anyway, I have to write about something, but what should it be?". He turns to the table once again and reads another fan's mail- this time from a male reader: "Dear Daniel M., when I first heard you are writing a blog, I was thrilled, as I thought to myself- finally some class among all this garbage on the net. However, while reading your last topics I saw you are no different from all the others around. Just pure vulgarity, without any bits of culture. I am very disappointed". Daniel M. jumped from his chair. No one should dare accusing him for lack of culture. For this Valentine's day he is proud to offer his readers the 10 books that he will be happy to take to a desert island, providing that he won't be charge for excess baggage.

1) Yaakov Shabtai- Past continuous. This is, by far, the best novel ever written by an Israeli (much, much better than all these Amos Oz and A.B. Yohoshua that are so popular nowadays), and one of the greatest, most original books written in the last 50 years.

2) Fernando Pessoa- The book of uneasiness- This book, written in a diary form, is unbelievably touching and profound.

3) Felisberto Hernandez- stories. My favorite unknown author, a pianist and composer himself, who was living in the beginning of last century in Uruguay. Unfortunately, both the two books that were translated to English, are now out of print and are extremely hard to find.

4) Georges Perec- Life a user's manual- Not for everybody's taste, but one of the most peculiar books by one the most peculiar authors.

5) Italo Calvino- If on a winter's night a traveler. Well, although not my favorite- still does win me over by its originality and sense of humor.

6) Ernesto Sabato- The tunnel- the perfect book for the obsessive person.

7) Jorge Luis Borges- Ficciones. If you didn't read it before- this is a must.

8) Eduardo Mendoza- The mystery of the bewitched crypt. If you just want to laugh, that's one of the funniest books I read last year.

9) Lao Tzu- Tao te Ching- As Eastern philosophy is a very "in" these days, this is the most beautiful book I know.

10) Malcolm Lowry- Under the volcano- 12 last hours of the drunk British ambassador in Mexico. A genius masterpiece, although a very difficult read.

Finally, for all those of you who have a special one, go fuck yourselves (in the positive, literal meaning). Otherwise, have a beautiful and safe Valentine's day".

Daniel M.'s pipe was running low. Jabbar the iguana fell asleep in front of the fireplace. It was getting colder, and Teresa's chocolate was just the thing he needed.


There were some inaccuracies with the above information. Daniel M.'s Iguana does not name Jabbar, for instance. To find out the real name, text LOVE to the number 079-DANIELMBLOG. £5.99 per text, roaming charges might apply.